It Was Always You
by JennaJuniper
Summary: 11x10 Remake. Little to No Spoilers. Lucifer tries to console Sam, he only wants what's best for his vessel. This may or may not get re-written at some point. I do not own the song used.


The visions he'd been having, of Lucifer, they just felt so right, so safe, so familiar. But now that he's faced with the real deal, he's terrified. Sam had backed as far away from the Devil as he could. He was currently crouched in a corner, pressing his thumb into the palm of his left hand.

"Sam," Lucifer knelt in front of him, just out of reach.

"You're not real," Sam interrupted.

"Sam," the Devil said gently, pleading almost, "I'm not going to hurt you."

Sam scoffed at him, "Yea, you just want to torture and manipulate me into saying 'yes'."

"I will never hurt you, and I will never lie to you, Sam. Why have you forgotten this?" Lucifer's icy blue eyes searched him.

"You're wearing Nick again." Sam abandoned his old scar.

"No, I currently have no vessel. I'm just presenting myself in a way that you're familiar and comfortable with."

"Comfortable!?"

"You used to be.." Lucifer sat crossed legged now, but still didn't move any closer.

Sam finally looked up and met Lucifer's gaze, he saw his lips twitch into his genuinely happy smile. Sammy unconsciously mimicked it.

"When the Darkness came, the Cage weakened, and I could feel you again. Going so long only being able to hear your prayers. I couldn't help but reach out to you, and now you're here. Right in front of me," Lucifer reached out towards Sam, but stopped when he saw Sam flinch.

"What happened, Sam? Why are you afraid?"

"What happened!? How about all the torture you put me through in the Cage!?" As soon as the words left Sam's mouth he regretted them. It looked like he had just punched the Devil in the face.

"I admit I was angry when we fell back into the Cage, and I regret lashing out at first. But, I never tortured you Sam. Do you really not remember?" Lucifer looked as though someone kicked his puppy.

"I remember the torture, though I still think there are bits and pieces missing." Sam relaxed a tiny bit in his corner.

Lucifer studied him like a puzzle, eventually holding out his hand. "May I?"

After some thought, Sam nodded and Lucifer rested his hand on the side of Sam's face. He immediately melted into the cool touch, feeling calm and safe. Lucifer gazed into his memories and saw the damage the Cage had done.

The Cage was meant to punish an archangel, not a human soul. So while Sammy was there, the Cage was scratching residual effects into his soul that were blocking his true memories of his time spent there.

When Lucifer pulled his hand away Sam needed a moment to blink back into reality.

"It was never God, giving me those visions. It was you," Sam met Lucifer's gaze, "It was always you."

"You need my help to defeat the Darkness."

"Even if that's true, you aren't using me."

"As you wish. But you know, it would be much easier if we were able to work together as one."

"No."

"Then will you help me find a temporary vessel?"

"And what happens after the Darkness, assuming you can beat her? You going to start the Apocalypse: Version Two?"

"With Michael still in the Cage, there'd be no fight, no-"

"So you'd be uninhibited as you destroyed the world," Sam accused.

"I don't know what will happen after the Darkness, Sam." Sam stiffened at the dangerous tone which immediately softened. "If I even make it through."

Sam looked up at Lucifer, stunned. He'd never thought that he might die in the fight.

"You know, Dean's gonna be here any minute."

"You aren't in any danger, Sam. I'm trying to help you."

"Yea, well we'd need a lot more than you! You talk yourself up, but the last time you did this you had the help of three other archangels and God himself! You're useless to me!" Again, it looked like Sam's venomous words had hurt Lucifer.

Lucifer's gaze dropped to study the floor. He spoke softly, "Raphael, and….Gabriel. Are dead. And Michael," he stopped for a moment, collecting himself, "Michael isn't doing well in the Cage. He can't handle it in there.."

"So there's no hope then," Sam said softly.

Lucifer slowly reached out to cup Sam's face again.

"There's always hope. I believe in you Sam. If anyone can stop this, it's the Winchesters. I only want to ensure that you make it through."

Sam averted his gaze and tried to ignore the flush in his cheeks, "About Michael, did, did you two fight?"

"He was angry at you. You had stopped one of God's plans and got us all thrown in the Cage. While you were there, I fought him to protect you; when you were gone, I fought him to avenge you and to work through my own resentment towards him and Father," Lucifer had removed his hand again, and Sam felt himself wanting to search for more contact.

"You protected me?" Sam asked meekly.

"As well as I could, though there were times that Michael would get to you. I flayed him for those times." Lucifer slid over next to Sam, and Sam found himself leaning into the Devil's shoulder.

"Because the Cage wasn't meant to hold souls, especially ones as beautiful as yours, you were able to manipulate it. Only in small ways, time passed a little slower and you were able to slightly alter the scenery. Towards the beginning, you didn't know how to control it, and you were scared as we ran from Michael, so your mind conjured up a library," Sam glanced up to see a fond little smile on Lucifer's lips, " We hid between the shelves and I tried to calm you down, make you feel safe. You asked me to sing to you."

"Sing?" Sam spoke up, barely finding his voice.

Lucifer chuckled, "Yes, you asked if I was an angel of music when I was in Heaven like the stories say. I had the most beautiful voice in the whole choir. So you asked me to sing to you."

"What did you sing?" Sam asked, then flinched when he heard some screams off in the distance.

He was trying really hard to keep Hell blocked out around him, but it was hard. Since the moment he stepped foot inside, he felt choked by sulfur and jumped every time he heard the screams of the damned in the distance. It took everything he had to keep his own memories of Hell away. But Lucifer noticed him shaking and curling his hands into fists. Lucifer hooked an arm around his shoulders and under his leads to lift the man into his lap.

"When you were scared I'd hold you like this and sing," He said softly, soothing Sammy.

 _When I'm cold inside/ You are warm and bright/ You know you are so good for me_

As he sang, Lucifer gently rocked Sammy and let him cling to his shirt.

This shouldn't make him feel so safe, so good, so loved. Sam is fully aware that he is in the Devil's arms, but to some part of him it does feel familiar, casual. He didn't bother fighting, it felt too good to stop, so he sighed and hummed along.

 _You know I tell the truth/ We are just the same/ I can feel everything you do_

"Sammy!" Dean's voice carried as he searched for his brother.

 _Hear everything you say/ Even when you're miles away_

Sam smiled, and sang along,

 _Cause I am me, the universe and you_


End file.
